The time I learned to say No at work - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog

The time I learned to say No at work - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog It was only my second job out of university, working as a software developer for a small consulting company in Copenhagen. I was 26 years old, dressed in a suit and tie that still felt like a halloween costume to me, having meetings with the customers VP of finance, trying to find out exactly what the IT system we were developing for their new factory should be capable of. The customer was in France, and I regularly flew down there from Copenhagen for work and meetings, landing in Basel, an airport situated so you can exit into Germany, France or Switzerland, depending on which exit you choose. As one of my colleagues found out to his cost when he accidentally exited on the Swiss side rather than the French and ended up paying Swiss taxi rates for the trip to the customers factory rather than French. Now heres the problem: At every single meeting, the customer changes the specs for the system. First they want this, then they want that. First they want it in this way, then in that way. Meanwhile, Im quietly going crazy. Of course I never show it, oh no, I play the consummate professional, capable of dealing with everything. And of course the customer is always right right? So I coolly explain to them that this is different than what you said at our last meeting and implementing the change will be costly. They just say sure, but thats what we want. And then, finally, I lose it at a meeting. They introduce change number 2883 (by my loose reconing), once again going back on what theyve told me previously, and I snap. I actually pound the table with my fist, snap my folder shut and say through clenched teeth No. This cant go on. This system will never get off the ground if you keep changing your mind at every meeting. We need to make decisions and stick to them. Then we take a break. During the break Im standing alone drinking a cup of coffee, thinking well, thats the end of this project for me. I feel really embarassed for having lost my cool in that way. So what happens next is totally unexpected for me: They start treating me much better. All the time Id tried to play the cool professional that didnt really fly with them. But when I got mad, and showed it, I showed them some of the real me. I showed them that I was human, and that there were things I wouldnt put up with. From that point on, they respected me more and they trusted me completely. I became the guy they went to first and work on the system became much more smooth. Go figure! I learned two things from this incident: 1: Dont be afraid to say no to a customer Customers trust you more if you say no when the answer is no. In the IT company I co-founded later, we once asked a customer what they liked about working with us. Their answer That you say no! Our other suppliers say yes to every request we have, then dont deliver because its too difficult. You guys say no if you cant do it or if its a bad idea. 2: Show emotions at work Sometimes its a great idea to show what youre really feeling. Theres this fiction in the workplace that we come to work as rational people and leave emotions at home. That just aint so we get as happy, mad, sad, thrilled, disappointed and excited at work as we do outside of it. Never showing that isnt good for you. One of the keys to happiness at work is an ability to say Yes! as I wrote about in a previous post. When a new idea comes along, when somebody asks for your help or when a co-worker suggests a new approach, saying Yes is what moves things along. If all ideas and suggestions are met with a No (or a Yes, but) change becomes very difficult. But its just as important to say no when no is the answer. If you cant say No at work, then your Yes is meaningless. If you work in a company where Yes has somehow become the only acceptable answer, meaning that compliance is forced on employees, then nobody is really saying yes. Theyre not even given a choice. Demotivation, cynicism and covert sabotage are sure results of this. If you liked this post Im pretty sure youll also enjoy these: Get lucky at work Top 5 business maxims that need to go How to resolve conflicts at work Thanks for visiting my blog. If you're new here, you should check out this list of my 10 most popular articles. And if you want more great tips and ideas you should check out our newsletter about happiness at work. It's great and it's free :-)Share this:LinkedInFacebookTwitterRedditPinterest Related